So You Hate Public Speaking? Are You an Introvert?

So after my first blog post I’ve been thinking more about introverts and what it means to be one. Everyone usually thinks of extroversion as being a social butterfly and introversion is usually labeled as bookworm or homebody. But it’s come to my attention that beyond this most people don’t really understand what these terms mean or how they apply to them. I’ve heard people say recently that they get super nervous giving a presentation in class and because of this fear of public speaking they think they are an introvert. What does it mean to be extroverted then? To have no fears? To be able to talk to anyone or any size group with limitless confidence? Let's be real. When was the last time you heard anyone say they couldn’t wait to give a school presentation? If your answer is anything other than never, then you know some super confident passionate person and that’s frickin awesome. Please tag them in the comments because I would love to talk to them. But seriously I want to dive into this and hear your thoughts. I know my blogs are primarily about what it’s like to be an introvert and the challenges I’ve faced, but I really feel it would be helpful to many people if I dedicated a whole post to public speaking.

Firstly what does it say about you if you’re afraid of public speaking? Well very little actually. Research has shown it’s a pretty common fear amongst students from the ages of adolescence to young adulthood. In other words, you’re normal and should not feel bad or isolated at all. That’s right bud. Take a deep breath, eat lots of bread, go outside and smile like a weirdo because there is nothing wrong with you. Personally - and I hope someone comments if it’s like this for them too - I am not really afraid of public speaking so much as I just don’t want to do it. I know that my classmates aren’t really paying attention, nor do they really care that much about me or what I’m saying. I know as soon as I finish most people will probably forget the whole thing and so will I after a couple days. Yet I have never wanted to give a presentation in class. Just the idea of it sounds, well, gross to me. I’d rather finally start my laundry, or scrub my hard floors with a toothbrush. In short if I could sum up how I felt about it in one picture it would be that meme of SpongeBob saying “I don’t feel like it.” If you don’t know this reference look it up because that makes me super bummed out.

Is this just me though? Please tell me other people feel this way too. If I’m not scared then why don’t I want to give a presentation? I’m not sure. Thinking back there are only two speeches I’ve ever given where I actually remember them and felt good about it. One was at my cheer banquet senior year of high school. That’s right I was a cheerleader in high school. Let’s not even get into that, though my speech was pretty amazing. The other was during the first semester of my junior year in college, for my speech class. It was a persuasive speech and frankly I crushed it like a college freshman pregaming before the club. I got 100%. I couldn’t believe it. Me. Brittany Klose. Awkward and introverted, not even liking talking to people and I got a perfect score. How did I do so well on these speeches? Well it was not because I wasn't afraid. I was super nervous and grossed out on both occasions. The only connection I can think of between the two was humor, but not every speech can be funny. And that still doesn’t answer the main question.

Why is public speaking so cringey? Why do so many people not like doing it? Here is a link for further explanation if you are interested, psychologytoday.com. Essentially the idea here is people tend to “overestimate the stakes of communicating their ideas in front of others.” What does this mean? Well close your eyes and think for a moment. Why do you not want to give a class presentation? Maybe it’s the same reason most of us don’t love taking an exam. There are stakes. We will literally be judged and graded on what we say and how we say it. I would say that’s a reasonable reason to feel nervous. That and it’s strange to be the center of attention if you don’t like it or aren’t used to it. It’s weird to have everyone’s focus on you. I don’t think that’s just an introvert thing. I think everyone is a little uncomfortable being exposed like that even if they pretend otherwise. I want you to close your eyes and think of something else now. Think about something you really care about, are really passionate about and could talk about for a good hour if someone wanted to listen. Think about something you feel really strongly for and would talk about if you could talk about it. Imagine if you could speak about it with no stakes, as in there is no grade. Oh wow you mean like just having a conversation?

Maybe not all of us are good speakers. Maybe not many of us have a way with words . Maybe not all of us are leaders or even meant to lead. But that doesn’t mean we don’t all have something to say. It doesn’t mean we don’t all have something we really care about. I’m not going to say, don’t be afraid. I’m not going to say “just do it.” But I am going to say here to anyone reading this that, it’s okay. It’s all okay. I understand what it’s like to feel awkward or nervous or afraid and I see you. I’m going to say that this isn’t how it always has to be. Public speaking is a really great skill to have. If you keep practicing one day you could feel the confidence you need to deliver that speech. One day it might be super easy to say what you need to. One day the idea that you were ever nervous at all might seem so silly to you. I know for my dad he has meetings at work everyday. He doesn’t always have to speak at them but when he does he’s not nervous. I can feel he’s really passionate about what he’s saying and loves being able to speak his mind about it. And I’m pretty sure I got my introvert tendencies from him…Maybe glossophobia is not related to introversion or extroversion.

Perhaps public speaking has nothing to do with who you are at all, but who you’re afraid you’re not.