Three Musts When Interacting with Introverts

So previously I’ve given little synapses into what it’s like being an introvert, how they should handle themselves in the business and regular world, and how they should push themselves out of their comfort zones and socialize more. But now I want to discuss how people should interact with introverts whether they are or aren’t one. For instance if your boss or customer is an introvert how should you act in accordance? If you’re an introvert how should you talk to other introverts in the meeting room? These are all questions I’ve wondered myself as I prepare to graduate and head into the business world.

Like I said in my last post I’m no psychology or behavioral expert, but I am in marketing. Understanding people’s behaviors and feelings is a huge part of what I learn about, and hope to be doing soon. I do plan to take more psychology classes after I graduate, but what can I say right now? Remember the saying you probably heard as a kid “treat others the way you want to be treated.” I believe that idea still applies here. Not all people or introverts are the same, but thinking how you want to be treated is always a good start. However some of you are more extroverted so maybe that’s not the right approach. I’ll help you out and explain how I like to be treated, and hopefully you can use some of what I say and apply it to real situations.

1. Lend an ear. Remember how I said introverts are great listeners and curious souls? Well maybe try returning the favor. I know I said I sometimes feel anxious when attention is on me, but in a small setting knowing people are giving me their full attention means so much. To add, introverts keep a lot of their opinions and ideas in their head. It makes me really happy when someone asks me a question about my opinion or what I’m thinking. However be careful what you ask about. Introverts can get bored easily and hate small talk. Ask questions that are either about the person specifically or require a deeper thinking on their part. I love a challenging question where I must consider and evaluate multiple perspectives. Try not to be confrontational though because introverts hate conflict and will close up quickly.

2. Be authentic and be brave. Introverts tend to see a lot. I’m no psychic reader, but I can usually tell who’s being real. This may seem hypocritical as introverts tend to keep most of who they are inside. They might come off as intimidating or more reserved, but they all need an extroverted friend and/or colleague to push them a little bit. They also need a little more security and time to get to know you before you earn their trust. As someone more introverted I don’t always know how I come off to people. Ironically I’ve met other introverts and wondered why they were so stuck up only to realize they weren’t and they were actually just even more introverted than me. So take time to get to know someone you think is introverted. Eventually they will warm up and let you in, and when they do, know it’s a big deal for them. If they confide in you they really trust you. Don’t take it for granted.

3. Know when to give introverts space. No boss likes an ass kisser and no introverted colleague or client wants to talk to you all the time, even if you’ve become friends. So send them an email or text instead of asking for a whole meeting or phone call. Get lunch with them every once in a while so you have new stuff to talk about. See how they are responding. If they are giving really short responses they want time alone and/or are annoyed with you. If there does seem to be a conflict with an introvert, the best thing to do is give them space to get over it. If it’s a bigger issue then after a couple days message them to talk in person. Though most introverts are fairly calm and don’t get upset easily. Typically their emotions are rather stable and content though it can vary across genders and personalities. To add, they tend to bottle up their feelings so be careful not to push them too far. They can hold grudges for a long time if they feel betrayed. Loyalty means a lot to them and is not given lightly, though it is given fiercely.

That’s all I have friends. It’s been a privilege and pleasure to write each post on this blog. I hope you all have gained something to take with you. Please reach out and/or comment your thoughts!